So, as Shawn and I are driving through the country,one of our stops is the Grand Canyon in Arizona. In Phoenix AZ I actually have a good portion of family from my moms side. (An Aunt/Uncle, and 3 cousins). So, Shawn and I contacted the only one of them I have the number to and decided that we were going to go a little ways out of the way to see her.
The thing with my family... my whole family minus my immediate (mom, dad, sis) grew up near one another. My dad was in the military and so we lived a looong ways away from everyone else. We didn't see each other for holidays all the time, or "just becauses". We weren't included in on Sunday brunches because we weren't there. I am the youngest of 6 cousins on my moms side of the family. My oldest cousin is 37 and I bring up the end at 25. There are 3 boys and 3 girls. Out of all of these cousins.. I am close with one ( we actually only just got close 5 years ago at my sister's wedding when we realized that we had a lot in common and we really weren't that far apart in age). And that is the girl Shawn and I are going to visit. The oldest 2 are boys and the last time I saw them I was 12 years old.
This fact never bothered me. I understood and grasped this concept of living away from family and considering the oldest 2 are nearly 10 and 13 years older than I am, it was no big deal that I didn't know them. Who is going to want to hang out with their kid cousin when they can go to a movie with their girlfriend? All this rambling that i am doing really does have a point.... I can honestly say for the very first time i met my 2nd oldest cousin this past weekend...and what do you know?! We hit it off fantastically! The 3 of us were like long lost..well cousins! It makes me so happy I actually hurt. I hurt because the only reason I am "meeting him" is because my husband and I have orders and we decided to make this a cross country journey! Because me seeing him now is probably only the 2nd or 3rd time I have actually EVER seen him. And it saddens me because we get along! Because before we decided to go out of our way.. I didn't care that I didn't know him...and now I do! Now I am very sad at the thought of leaving AZ. Now it hurts. It hurts that I didn't get to know my family more, and now I am going away. It sucks that I probably wont be able to see them again for another 4 years. I am normally very positive, but tonight I am just sad. Sad that I met someone I am related to at 25. Sad that his 2 children don't even know who I am. Sad that we hit it off fantastically....and now I am saying goodbye when I just said hello. Just sad.
We are continuing on with our journey starting again tomorrow. We got here Thursday night and have been here the whole weekend! It has been a blast (even though all i am doing is moping) I will cherish the couple days I had with my cousins until the next time I get to see them!
Until then.....
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